


Helping Hands

by orphan_account



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Suicidal Thoughts, Therapy, basically cole is the friend we all need
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 00:42:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13329861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lavellan is seeing a new therapist after being in the E.R. The therapist just happens to be Cole, and he's exactly what she needs.





	Helping Hands

What could possibly be worse than the day you were going to kill yourself?  
The day after.

“Your name is?”   
“Sunshine Lavellan.”  
“Sunshine. That’s a pretty name.”  
“Yeah, my parents are hippes.”  
The secretary chuckled. “Alright, Sunshine, our therapist will be ready to see you in a few minutes. Finish filling out this form while you wait.”  
Sunshine sat down in the waiting room, which was empty and startlingly quiet. Oh well, no one around to see her misery. The pen shook in her hand and she took in a deep breath, trying to steady herself as she read through the form.

First question: “who referred you to this clinic?” She wrote down, “The Emergency Room.”   
“Why were you referred to this clinic?” She cringed. “Told my guidance counselor that I was going to kill myself.”

Sunshine looked out the window to see the clear, beautiful day that she certainly couldn’t enjoy because she had to do this. In and out, she told herself. Tell them what they want to hear and you can do whatever you want.

“Sunshine? I’m Cole. Come with me.” Cole was a young man not that much older than Sunshine who certainly didn’t look like any of the therapists she had seen. He had long, limp blond hair that hung over his face, and his clothes looked ill-fitting and old. 

She followed him into his equally strange looking office. Surfaces were covered with knick-knacks, such as ceramic cats and beanie babies. His computer and files both seemed like afterthoughts shoved into the corner. He took the forms from her and threw them into the chaos of papers on his desk. 

“Don’t you need to read that? It says why I’m here.”

“No, it’s just for our files. I already know why you’re here.”

“Oh. Did the hospital phone ahead, or…?”

“You’re shaking.” He pointed towards her hands, which were trembling violently.

She could feel herself turn pink. “Oh, yeah. I get nervous with new therapists.”

“Don’t be. I’m a friend. You don’t like therapists. They poke and prod too much, it makes you want to run away.”

Sunshine was frozen. She stared at Cole, noticing how piercing his grey eyes were as they looked into hers. And yet, he was not threatening. In fact, he had spoken as if he were a friend who knew her well. “How did you know that?”

“You lie, but you are not a liar. Tender tall tales tumble from your tongue.”

“Most therapists are bullshit. I don’t have to tell them anything,” she said defensively.

“No, you don’t owe anyone the truth. But you gave it to your guidance counselor. You told her that you were going to die.”

“Yeah, well. I lied to her too. I wasn’t going to… do that.”

Cole took his eyes off Sunshine for the first time to look into his lap. “You do want to live.”

“Yes!” 

“But the pain you feel is unbearable, pounding in your head and squeezing your heart. You feel that pain right now. You think that there is only one way to escape it.”

“Hey, what are you? Some kind of Sherlock Holmes of therapists?” Sunshine was getting scared, but she didn’t want Cole to know that he was right. If he knew that she wanted to kill herself, he would send her back to the hospital. If she tried to walk out, he would send her back to the hospital. She just had to get through this.

“No. I can feel your pain, it flows off you like sweat.”

“But I want to live. You said that.”

“We all want to live, deep down. But wanting to live doesn’t always stop us from dying.”

“It did for me. It’s why I told my guidance counselor.”

“But you regret it.”

“No!”

“You have tried everything the therapists have told you to get better, but none of it has worked. You had hoped that there would be something new to try at the hospital, but when you saw the fluorescent lights and scrubs, you wanted to run. You do a lot of running. You can’t keep running.”

Sunshine stared at Cole for a moment, taking in his words. And then she started to shake her head. “You want to send me back.”

“You lied to the nurses. You said you felt better.”

“I do feel better! You’re fucking screwy, you know that?” Shut the fuck up, Sunshine. You can still get out of this. Don’t start being mean, idiot.

“You’re not an idiot. You are good at chemistry and art and taking care of your baby brother. Who would take care of him if you were gone? Who would take care of your cactus? Who would make your best friend laugh so hard that milk comes out of his nose?”

“Somebody else would. I’m replaceable.” Cole seemed to blur as her eyes filled with tears.

“No. You add beauty, softness, kindness, and laughter to this world. It would be gone without you.”

“Yeah, I get it. You’re trying to make me feel guilty for wanting to die. You’re the selfish one here. If being alive hurts this much, why should I have to live?”

“Because it won’t always hurt.”

“What little trick do you have up your sleeve to convince me of that? Mindfulness? Healthy lifestyle?” Her tone was meant to sound joking but as her voice cracked, it was clear that there was genuine yearning. She wanted Cole to have answers. He seemed to know everything about her, maybe he knew exactly what would fix her. 

“Go back to the hospital.”

Sunshine sighed deeply and leaned back in her chair. “Are you kidding me? That’s your solution?”

“Yes. They can help you better than I can. And you will have friends there. The other kids would love to meet you.”

And just like that, Sunshine started to sob. “But it is so scary, it is so much easier just to die.”

“Dying isn’t easy. Dying is painful, and you have experienced enough pain already. You deserve to feel comfortable. And you want to. You want to go to the hospital because you want to live.”

“But you also think that I want to die and run away from the hospital?”

“Yes.”

She sunk into her chair. “You’re right. I don’t know what to do.”

“You know exactly what to do.”

Sunshine buried her face in her hands. “Yeah. You’re right.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you are in crisis, please go to the hospital. Trust me, it is not that bad. And if you have any kind of mental health issue, remember that Cole loves you dearly.


End file.
